Aita for not paying for my oldest daughters wedding. I'm feeling quite conflicted about this. He took to Reddit to ask “AITA” for not wanting to pay for his daughter’s dream of a destination wedding 9,000 miles away, calling the affair a “pointless showing of wealth. Its not because Hanna changed her mind it's because you over spent. She “ruined” her own future. Reply. Sam and my ex ended up marrying seven months later. She told me she can just up the size of it and I told her I would think In the planning it contained all the wedding costs being £40k (50k dollars) and £160k (200k dollars), the price was insane for a honeymoon but there was a list of 'guests' invited, it contained my ex's sister and her family, my ex herself, my fiancée man and his family and someone which genuinely made me furious, my ex's ex boyfriend, the Other than keep coming to you for “loans” they will never pay back, that is. I was pregnant. However, something that you could not have predicted when you said this. 4. Both mothers dresses & hair (they didn't want their nails done). She has a best friend, Sophie, (12). ”. When I went to prom (and I went twice, sophomore year and senior year), my first dress was 60 (loved that dress). ADMIN MOD. 1K upvotes · 5K comments. Your daughter doesn't want to believe that her fiance is cheating, from just the word of a friend of her dad's, who recognized him from a picture. As a response, I told her that if she feels that way, then I won't be paying for her wedding. Not a bunch like in a grocery store. If you have to take out a substantial loan to throw a lavish wedding, then you do not have the money for that type of wedding. All of my extended family chose to attend my daughter's wedding over my stepdaughter's. He has previously cut off all ties with his brother and now must consider whether or not to attend the wedding or even pay for it. I (47M) met my wife (49F) when we were in our mid twenties. UPDATE: For all the YTA people out there, I've decided to give my daughter a gift in the same amount as her older sister's wedding cost. My daughter and her fiancé felt betrayed that I kept this a secret, accusing me of being insensitive given the family history. Their father was an addict but is now clean. OP's stepdaughter sounds like a real winner of a human being. 3. I was upset and it made me feel better to see people agree with me. Most assholes don’t like being called out for their bullshit. If she can't pay for the wedding she wants, she can have the wedding she can afford. Now, Emily and Chris have always gotten YTA, and you're homophobic. I (55M) have a daughter (29F) who is getting married next year. My wife and I were excited when they got engaged to plan a wedding but she said she didn't want to rush setting a date or planning a wedding. 9K votes, 5. I posted recently about my daughter surprising me by wanting to turn my wedding dress into a suit, which I refused despite having promised her because the reality hurt me. Olivia decided to go her own way, with a dress she BORROWED from her mother. AITA for not attending Bio daughters wedding because Her step sister was not invited. 8K comments. That would be a lot more meaningful and long lasting. S looked at my funny and then said that she didn’t think that P would “fit the part”. Both Hannah and Hope are now married- Hannah has three kids (3M, 3M, and 1F) and Hope is pregnant with her first kid, a baby boy. You never stuck to the original plan of giving 50/50. He doesn’t have custody of S, but does visit when he can. One man explained to the internet that when his sister got engaged last year, she asked his 17-year-old son to make I can't go into full detail on this subreddit because the moderators won't allow it so I'll keep it as brief as possible. Asshole. I (58M, het dad) am supposed to pay for the wedding, that's what we agreed on. Hi all! I have a son (John, 28M) and daughter (Rita, 31F) and both are on OK terms with each other. AITA for saying I will not attending my daughters wedding. The only thing we didn't pay for for their weddings was our son's tuxedo and our oldest daughter's wedding dress. We don't have any kids together, yet, but she does have 2 kids from a previous relationship (16F & 12M). And I get it, daughter more than likely has legit reasons to not like his wife, but you still don’t give a middle finger to the person paying for it. I had a huge budget. (2) I might be the AH because I made her a promise and I'm breaking it and might be damaging my relationship with my sister over a joke. The only relevant people to this story are my bio daughter Emily and Lora my step daughter I’ve been in my step daughters life since she was 6 years old I see her as a daughter I swore I’d never be like my step father and treat a child differently because of something silly like dna, emliy hates Lora and has turned her brothers against her My (52F) daughter (20F) receives a scholarship for her college tuition because I make under a certain amount. That’s the very least they can do. 1 - you pay for a different dress. My daughter Jane recently eloped with her partner of 5 years. So I (49f) have 2 daughters, Tracy (23) and Caitlin (17) Back story: Caitlin and Tracy weren’t really close when they were growing up but they got on they had the basic sisterly fights every now and then but nothing to big, Caitlin came out when Their entire party, for both, cost me about 200-300 bucks. A year spent bartending and scrounging can get her close, and if you can drop $30K on a Circumstances change. I am currently a divorced mother and my husband has weekend visitors. My wedding dress belonged to my mother. His daughter and ex-wife have both expressed their anger, but he believes his NTA. Both of them are engaged to two wonderful men who we adore. Based on your comments, her tuition is about $90K per year. I got angry and told S that my daughter would be in our wedding. You were non-existent in her life for years. " "My younger one got super angry with us and complained Feb 15, 2023 · Image source: u/Suspicious_Pair_4940. Now my daughter wants to wear the dress and I told her it wouldn’t be a good idea since she won’t be able to squeeze into it. If she's old enough to do that, she's old enough to pay for her own wedding. . We have had agreements with all of our kids that we would help pay for up to $10K for their weddings, or use that same amount towards a down payment on their first home. While the decision may seem harsh to some, there are various factors at play. Our youngest daughter, Michaela is engaged and we are paying for her wedding with the exception of her dress, she must buy her own wedding dress. That we should lock up our valuables and hope for the best. That tradition is antiquated to give a large sum of money to only your daughter to get their life started. I feel like a place that charges $200 and charges by the hour just doesn't exist. Dec 21, 2020 · My wife and I told her we were not going to drop 30k to pay for her wedding after she went years of no contact with us. Anyway since I'm paying for a 200k wedding, I just asked for my mother and her 2 step siblings to receive invitations since they are her siblings, my fiancée and daughter were like cool we will, now obviously this could be a mistake but invitations come around, my step daughter informed me that she didn't want any children at her wedding, but Jul 28, 2023 · Aita For Not Paying For My Oldest Daughter’S Wedding Dress . Not a straight wedding. I was an involved dad when she was young and we were close. She called your bluff, you should be grateful you’re still invited. Like 60 bananas. She has always said she would love for our kids to wear her dress at their wedding. My girlfriend is also coming with us and I'm paying for her and her 5 y/o daughter. Feb 28, 2023 · And a recent post on the AITA subreddit just might take the dress drama cake. They argued that I should have been transparent so they could have made an informed decision about accepting the money. My wife made it known that the dress was not to be altered except to Mar 12, 2024 · AITA for not paying for my daughter's wedding_ #askreddit #redditstories #shorts. Unexpectedly, my daughter sat me down and told me that she will be inviting my brother and his family(he married my cheating ex). If you can sink 200k on a wedding for your step daughter, you are worth so much more than this BS. 3 - you let her dad help you pay for the dress and don't tell her that - any financial agreement between you and Nicholas is between you and Nicholas. I’m horrified your daughter did such a thing. When my children were born my husband and I were determined to put aside money for their university/weddings/lives. Lilly or her hubby could have a serious medical issue come up and their financial situation change drastically. The issue was that my daughter's wedding was happening in another state that is a 13 hour drive away. AITA if I sell my youngest daughter's car to help cover my oldest's tuition? 5. I told S that if P wasn’t in the wedding then there might not be a wedding. At the time they started planning it A and her now fiancé had a lot of money and bought L a wedding dress worth hundred of thosands of dollars. The scholarship completely covers the tuition, and how it works is that I pay it first, then it is refunded to me. Tell her anything above that is on her and her fiance. I will talk about my daughter, Elly (18F). My father is wealthy so we used to go to a fancy school. My daughter didn’t accept the divorce well. Hailey is not in any sort of relationship yet. Me, my step daughter and fiancée had an argument and the wedding cost was about 200k so I asked about what the 200k was being used for as it was quite concerning, my fiancee without any remorse or regret said that 40k was being used for the wedding while the 160k was being Oct 13, 2022 · My wife made her wedding dress with her mother. AITA For not paying for my daughter's honeymoon after she canceled her wedding. She can pay for her own wedding if she's insistent on this stance. Her mom is calling me an asshole for holding it against her. It's very sentimental to her and she was very proud of it. first prom cost about $120. Make sure to tell her if that includes travel, etc for the bridal couple and family members. I felt like I’d already done and spent more than enough for their family that there was no reason for me to. AITA for refusing to pay for my daughter's wedding because she won't let me walk her down the aisle? I'm a 48-year-old man and my 19-year-old daughter has always been an independent thinker. And both of them wanted me to walk them down the aisle. I can't even imagine paying 40k for a wedding! I'd rather use 200K on a home. Original post:AITA for not letting my elder daughter have my younger's wedding dress? Names have been changed, I'm 55 and Amelia is 32. AITA for not paying for an equally extravagant wedding for my oldest daughter? Asshole. At the core of the story is Aita, a single mother in an ultama, a rural neighbourhood in Mexico where life is hard. Reply reply. If she alters your dress to fit her, unless you're identical twins with the same body shape, she needs to pay for it to be fitted to you. May 30, 2023 · AITA for paying for my bio daughter's wedding but not my step-daughters because of how she acts and treats me? For context: I (56M) have been married to my wife Lisa (57F) for 25 years. My daughter has also agreed to figure out a way to include us in a way that doesn't involve "giving her away. You don't have an obligation to invite your friends to your daughters wedding. Mar 25, 2022 · In the post titled "AITA for refusing to pay for my daughter's wedding even if I promised to?" the man, 39, explained that his daughter, 21, is getting married in June and that ever ADMIN MOD. Your daughter is TA, you need to tell her she's not entitled in any way to HIS money or you paying for HER wedding, she's over 18 and you've done your job supporting her already so she can either have a small wedding she can afford or don't get married. AITA for not giving my daughter who eloped cash for her honeymoon? Not the A-hole. My wife has three kids (Two sons 20m and 19m) and a daughter (16f) from her previous marriage. It was also worn by my aunt during her wedding as a surprise to my mom because my grandparents used to make fun of my mom for her Establish the amount of $$ you are willing to provide and give her the budget. The family is on board because this is going to be a very big wedding. Just cause Rose is living beyond her means doesn’t mean she needs more assistance. My daughter Casey is getting married this winter to her fiancé Max (27m)who she has been together with for OOP: AITA for having a fit when my daughter calls my bluff and insists on hiring a professional caterer for her wedding because she’s “mad” I won’t make food half her guests can eat? Everyone: Yes, OOP, you are TA. You might “respect same sex couples” but you sure as hell don’t respect your daughter. Agree. My second dress was free (my cousin gave it to me. My son, her half brother, is posting about how I'm just a miserable guy sitting down here and not wanting to see my family. I was on the fence since she also pushed her into wearing things that were feminine for other occasions and she was more than willing to have the dress altered more significantly for her fiance as well. 16M subscribers in the AmItheAsshole community. Worldly-Surprise6288. In our culture both parents are paying for the wedding, 50/50. My wife and I have 3 kids (36M, 32F, & 25F). YTA. Also statistics show that people who spend a lot on weddings are more likely to divorce. It wasn't a wedding dress. Ask them to ask money from her biological dad. A few years later I met my beautiful wife and her daughter who at the time was 3 years old needless to say she is my daughter and treat her as if she too was biologically mine. While he didn’t I (56m) have 5 children. Daughter spends the next year saving up, as do you. Sep 14, 2023 · PravinI123 agreed, stating "maybe [you're] doing your daughter a favor by not attending her wedding. I got them a good gift and a chunk of change and deemed it enough. We are not particularly well off but managed to scrape together almost $30k for each of our children by the time they were mid teens. ago. A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place…. I raised her to be independent and think for herself, which I've always appreciated. In the You are not obliged to pay for her wedding since you are not her dad, even though you tried and supported her. Fair enough. OOP: *shocked Pikachu face* Feb 27, 2023 · 46M is faced with an uncomfortable decision - his daughter is getting married, but his brother and ex-girlfriend will be attending. It's a hard lesson but one that needs to be learned. This is about 3 of them Casey (26f), Alex (31nb) and Tom (34m). NTA - it's plain to see OP's youngest initiated contact with her parents to get her wedding paid for. I have two children. lalapocalypse. His parents are paying about 60% of the wedding. You should attempt to give financial gifts equally and that includes weddings. My daughter (T)(from my first marriage is getting married soon and my other daughter (G)(from my second marriage) is getting married a day after. My stepdad raised me like a biological child and would have %100 solved this by paying for neither of our college tuition. In my mind, that dress wasn’t twelve, or even fifteen thousand dollars, it was priceless. AITA for not contributing to my daughter’s wedding. Apparently, she was seeing them for the last 4 years and built a relationship behind my back. Our parents are paying 30% Stella and Jon paying for the rest themselves. Bio Daughter’s Dad and I relationship did not end on good terms and while I tried my best to keep the children out of it, he did not agree and in an attempt to get the kids to side with him, he went on a smear campaign against me. They both make good money, well into the six-figure range. OOP asks if they are the AH for not paying anymore towards daughter's wedding after daughter destroyed their mother's wedding dress r/TwoHotTakes • UPDATE: I think my wife of 12 years is a lesbian. She was a single parent. As well as lodging for out of town My daughter is getting married in spring next year. After a few months of my daughter refusing to talk to me, my wife saw how I was being affected by the situation and said I should just let my daughter use our home without any restrictions. She passed away two years ago so she will can not attend our daughters wedding that will be in 2025. I paid for all my bridesmaids dresses, hair, a spa day to do nails. My oldest son is paying for himself and his 2 sons (7M, 5M), and I'm paying the costs for everyone else including my 30 y/o's fiancé and my 16 y/o sons’ best friend. Whether they are a justified asshole or not is based on how awful the wife is or isn't. We have 3 daughters (34, 30, 25) and 1 son (28). A daughter's wedding day is something some parents and I would say particularly moms, really hold on to and have a very precious vision of. Your daughter's well-being is the top priority at this time. They ripped it off a plant and threw it in the pool. Chris and I were together for 5 years, and it was serious. For the NTA people out there, thanks, most of you get it. Content Reddit Folder · Original audio I (47F) have three daughters: Hannah (26F), Hope (24F), and Hailey (18F). People cross-post…. Aita for Not Paying for My Oldest Daughter’s Wedding Dress is a heart-rending story of a family struggle against poverty and lack of resources. S started to become upset and said that the girls in the wedding were up to her and P wouldn’t be one of them. I have 2 kids (18F and 10F). The biggest caveat is that they must be married in Jon's family's church, full mass with communion. We split up three months ago because Chris decided to pursue a career opportunity overseas, and I wasn't willing to move. 2- she lets her dad help you buy the dress - he must owe child support so she'd be taking what she is lawfully and morally due. My 19 y/o daughter asked me if her boyfriend (of 15 months) could come with us on vacation. elladee000 Asshole Enthusiast [7] • 3 yr. My step sons and I aren’t close, but they’ve been respectful to me playdatesnacks. AITA? Spinnerofyarn • • 4 mo. You should be grateful you have the opportunity to yeet your way out of this family before converting from fiancee to husband. Not the A-hole. When Becca got married 10 years ago, she wanted to wear my wedding dress. I (54f) have two daughters A (27f) and L (23f). You promised to pay for the wedding and she is counting on that. Michaela invited her daddy and me to watch her try on dresses with the bridal party. We've been close our whole lives, until my recent breakup with my ex, "Chris". He’s been causing issues with me and his sister about this and has been slandering us Throwaway-8841. I (38M) got engaged to my fiance (36F) about 5 months ago after dating for 2 years. “AITA for telling my daughter that I won’t be attending her wedding?” – this father took to one of Reddit’s most judgmental groups to ask its members if it was wrong of him to reject his daughter’s wedding invitation because she didn’t invite his wife and kids. It's true, I don't "own" her, I also don't owe her a fully-funded wedding. Chaos ensued. The post managed to garner over Nov 10, 2022 · A man refusing to pay for his daughter's wedding after she invited his estranged brother is being backed online. YTA All of my extended family chose to attend my daughter's wedding over my stepdaughter's. The issue is I’m paying for her wedding but I never paid anything for my sons. AITA for not paying for my daughter's wedding when I said I would before? This dude is messy and creepy. Kyla was very mean to me and I had a hard time to the point that I had to move to NAH. Every year, around Christmastime, my husband (49M), I, and our three daughters would go on Update: AITA for not allowing my daughter to significantly alter my wedding dress. Hold firm this is not your problem to solve, and refuse to discuss it any further. We have two daughters, Jody who is 26 and Hanna who is 28. ) Includes costs for nails, shoes, minimal makeup. If the wife really is an asshole and unlikable, OP is a justified asshole. I get along great with her kids, especially her son. NTA. It is hers! You want to invite someone to a wedding then go renew your own vows. I don't want to come across as controlling or manipulative. So her wedding dress size reflects that. AITA for not paying for my step daughters birthday dinner? Not the A-hole. Most kids don’t go to college with savings, so she’s just going to have to tough it out. Sure, they had fancier weddings, that's because they worked for it and could afford it. 101K subscribers in the redditonwiki community. " "Furthermore, my elder two paid for most of their own wedding, we just pitched in about 5k for each of them. If you spent even only $10K of her college fund on your mortgage, then you and eldest each need to save $40K to pay for her tuition outright. Since the beginning of the pandemic, Elly has agreed to babysit her younger sister. In some states yes but its generally reserved for grandparents who already have a relationship with the children. At this age, her daughter will never accept you as a father figure , so you can accept that fact and act accordingly. Your daughter had a reasonable expectation, you had agreed to keep the 20k for her wedding. He can’t blow his plausible deniability by taking a paternity test. My condolences about your brother. Emily (30f) and Hayes (26m) with my ex-wife. A hotel that charged hourly wouldn't go for $200. My wife and I have saved roughly $50k for each daughter as a wedding fund. AITA for not buying snacks for my daughters best friend at a play date. We got the save the date invitations a few days after I put the payments through my bank (they need to be approved, so no money has been paid yet). Sophies mom called me yesterday, said that they were at an indoor playground, and Sophie My daughter (27F) is getting married in the fall. Haha, kinda same here: I’ve been with my partner for 13 years, have 3 kids, not married, but I do still get invited to their events (I actually just recently attended my SIL’s wedding without my partner because he had to work,) but I don’t go to many things because my partner’s stepdad is a bigot who also sexually assaulted me so I try to stay as far away from him as possible. " AITA for refusing to pay for my daughter's wedding? Not the A-hole. honeymooneraita. My daughter's wedding took place in October last year. I have been in our daughters' (26F) life for 22 years. In a post shared to Reddit 's AITA forum on October 21, user u/father-of-the-bride OP is an asshole for SAYING that they didn't pay for the first wedding because they hated the wife, and an asshole for saying that they'd pay for the second. If she wants a blow out wedding, she can pay for it. Opal and her fiance Jack passed away four years ago. If your husband and stepson do not see anything wrong about their bullying, better to consult a good divorce lawyer. NTA Edit: corrected a word cuz my phone does me dirty That is because he knows he is the father, or at least strongly suspects it. If you don't attend her wedding, it'll cause irreparable damage to your relationship with your daughter, and at some point you'll regret it. I split this cost with her father, and is about 4k in total per semester. You put money aside for a wedding. My wedding was extravagant by most people's standards. But when she was in her teens I cheated on her mother. I did the math and I calculated that if I left my stepdaughter's wedding at 10pm and drove through the night, I'd make it with 2 hours to freshen up and get ready. If you were going to spilt it 50/50 her half had to come from somewhere. Yes. We have a daughter together April (24F) and Lisa has a daughter Carly (33F) with her ex-husband Doug (60ish M). The AITA situation in question revolves around a parent who has made the decision to not financially contribute to their daughter’s wedding. Ever since my husband away, nearly a decade ago, Rita has stepped up and taken care of all of us, financially. All the groomsmens tuxes, ring bearer & ushers. It is a full length blue satin gown with long sleeves and ruffles. I think, I need to give a background information before explaining the details. It's probably not too late to recoup some of your 200k too. These were all human adults. When her oldest Feb 15, 2022 · Here's the story, as told by the mom, aka, u/mommyinthemud: "My younger daughter (Hayleigh, 28F) is marrying my older daughter (Jennifer, 30F)'s ex-fiancé (Sam). So I can't even think of a type of place that costs $200/ hour. Both of the girls have special needs and are around 6 years old mentally. I have an 11 year old daughter, Ellie. Her wedding dress had been bought and my baby never got to wear it. Also, you should consider getting into therapy to deal with your grief. She doesn't need someone who can't put her first on one of her most important days. She can use this for whatever she wants. It was simple but freaking gorgeous. You're a mother first, and your daughter's support system second. Yes, I get it, is her wedding and she can be mean to whoever she wants or rude, but she also should not expect support from the one guy she is doing it to. THIS SUBREDDIT IS FOR A PODCAST CALLED Reddit On Wiki, THAT READS REDDIT STORIES. You agreed to keep it for her wedding, did you say at the time only if you marry someone of the opposite gender no. If you're happy to be cordial, get the alterations you need done to the dress, deduct the cost from the $900 and pay what's left back. It could have and should have been passed down for generations. You have no problems with same sex couples so long as you're not related to them. My father remarried when I (25F) was 14, his wife Mary (49F) and his stepdaughter Kyla (26F) were hell in my life. AITA for refusing to help my daughter honor her stepfather at her wedding? Not the A-hole. I paid for 2 flower girls dresses, their hair & nails. Actually if this is the reason he paid for his daughters and not his sons, I would’ve said he’s an asshole. Jennifer is mad at me because I'm AITA For refusing to pay for my soon-to-be step daughter's jaw surgery. (1) I backed out of paying for my sister's wedding dress over a joke she made. To make matters worse, the fiancé's dad is now questioning his own recovery My sister, "Emily", is getting married soon. She left me a few months after Hayes was born and ended up getting back together with her high school ex Sam. Would OP then not be upset they can’t use the wedding fund for THAT daughter on something for that daughter. Now enough backstory. And it's ridiculous that she would expect a 30k wedding to be paid by OP when he offered his other two 5k each. My daughter L and her fiancé have been planning their wedding since they were both 19. AITA for not inviting my stepsister who bullied me to my wedding? Not the A-hole. The names are not their true names. My husband and I have two daughters, Opal and Amelia. She posted it thinking she was right and found out the exact opposite and now has a thorn in her ass. et gg bm ll uh az ch gs wm jm