Sarcastic insults quotes

 

You’ve got all the tact of a bowling ball. “Do you ever wonder why people don’t like talking to you?”. Same as everyone else. “Work: the perfect opportunity to pretend you’re busy while scrolling through social media. May 18, 2017 · Sarcastic Quotes. " Here we are sharing some of Squidward’s most savage quotes throughout the series and discussing why they were so impactful. Into hey nonny, nonny. " - Charles Schultz. "It is better to be thought a fool, than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt. “You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do. “Patrick, go be stupid somewhere else!”. Me pretending to listen should be enough for you. UnSplash. Agree only with the truth about you, and you are free. Feb 18, 2023 · Sarcastic Quotes That You Can Use as Captions. “I’m not sarcastic. — Kourtney Kardashian. At a distance, spectators can’t tell which one is which. “There are two theories to arguing with women. You have something on your chin. Apr 17, 2019 · We're not talking about the serious trash-talk, but rather a clever and witty exchange of a (sometimes) humorous opinion. Aug 19, 2018 · Here, then, are 13 offbeat, humorous, and absurd quotes, jokes, and sayings about mental health to help you access the lighter side of depression. “Sarcasm: the lowest form of wit but the highest form of intelligence. I’m describing you. This witty remark by renowned writer Oscar Wilde reflects the paradoxical nature of sarcasm. See more ideas about christmas quotes, christmas humor, sarcastic. May 29, 2024 · I’m multitasking. Happy birthday! Another year has gone by, but you haven't gotten any wiser. 13. If I let go, she shops. “Your opinion is as valuable as a used napkin. Off their rocker: mad—they were off their rocker, they were. When you disappear, it’s a beautiful day. 44. You're not 40. A psychologist can’t fix stupidity. Apr 15, 2015 · 1. Jun 3, 2023 · sarcastic quotes about work. 46. #1 “I love you even though I sometimes think about suffocating you in your sleep. 11 Best Spongebob Quotes. I’m 97% sure you don’t like me. Alan Cohen. You might love your life, but I think it just wants to be friends. 85. ” William Faulkner. Unknown. Jul 7, 2021 · 11. - Dolly Parton. Mad as a hatter: mad—stemming from back in the day when hatters used a manufacturing process for felt that, indeed, made them mad (mercury poisoning) Gormless: clueless; slow witted. I always tell new hires, “Don’t think of me as your boss, think of me as a friend who can fire you. If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I’d fart. You remind me of me when I was young and stupid. – Oscar Wilde. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk. Apr 25, 2022 - Explore Dark Sarcasm's board "Sarcastic Quotes", followed by 361 people on Pinterest. 47. Don’t hold yourself back from saying what you’re thinking. He also chases his tail for entertainment. Sarcastic, Wise, Insults You. de Gaulle’s New Groove. “I desire that we be better strangers. “Sarcasm is the last refuge of the imaginatively bankrupt. Read the collection we put together for you, and let us know in the comments what other good jokes with sarcastic undertones you know. “When I said you look like you could swoop down from the sky and snatch your dinner from a lake. You're more like 2 twenties held together with mashed potatoes. 7 / 8 Universal History Archive / Universal Images Group/Shutterstock Read More: Jokes About Insults. #3 “I hate you less than other people. See more ideas about sarcastic quotes, quotes, funny quotes. Life is not a fairy tale. If karma doesn’t hit you, I gladly will. It’s kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your Sep 17, 2021 · Sarcasm Quotes. “A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. 3. – Phil Robertson. I’m going to miss having you around to blame for the quality of my work. You’re the king/queen of punctuality. “Always be trending topic in your hater’s life. #1. You are depriving some village somewhere of an idiot. Revenge is beneath me. (Unknown) Do not take life too seriously. 2. Here are the 80 best sarcastic quotes, from funny comments, sayings, and phrases dripping with snarky sarcasm. - Howard Hughes. Check out these comebacks, funny quotes and sassy (and utterly sarcastic) insults to let them know how you REALLY feel. “There are two types of people in the world 1. ” “If you don’t want a sarcastic answer, then don’t ask a stupid question. Oct 4, 2018 · For some more of the best in British insults, check out our list of Shakespeare’s funniest put-downs. My son asked me what it’s like to be married so I told him to leave me. See more ideas about funny, funny quotes, hilarious. “The world is full of fake people and haters. "You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm. You might find out other quotes 27 Insulting ‘Bitch Please’ Quotes And Meme For Your Enemies and 55 Funny Non-Swearing Insults And Sarcastic Quotes to your Sep 23, 2023 · Here are 26+ sarcastic comebacks to use when someone insults you: “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were an expert on everything. funny sarcastic quotes about life and sarcastic thoughts for the day. Let’s share, You’ll take the grenade, I’ll take the pin. When I say I won’t tell anybody. Everyone who ever loved you was wrong. 25 Copy quote. Timequake, Kurt Vonnegut. "I wish more people were fluent in silence. "My wife is really sentimental. “Destiny is never tied to those who leave. " Billy Wilder. One At A Time. “Too bad SpongeBob is not here to enjoy SpongeBob not being here!”. 20. Arm yourself for your next insult battle now! I’d give you a nasty look but you’ve already got one. In an alternate universe. It’s your personality that’s the issue. Looking at your best friend and saying, “I’ll do it if you will do. Sarcasm: the witty will have fun, but the stupid won’t get it. “I work best under pressure, which is why I wait until the deadline to start. Mar 31, 2023 · 100 Funny Sarcastic Quotes About Work. Russell Lynes. 12. Much Ado About Nothing Quotes Showing 1-30 of 126. By using sarcasm, individuals can vent their frustrations or disappointments while finding solace in their witty remarks. “When you tolerate disrespectful people you disrespect yourself. ”–. #2 “I hate when you treat me so special for one day, and next day I’m just nothing for you. Patrick: The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma. “Life is like a roller coaster. ‘ It’s been so long since I’ve had sex, I’ve forgotten who ties up whom!’. Andy Warhol. ” -Groucho Marx. Quotes For Everything, Motivational, Inspirational, Love, Life, Fu The mountain of paperwork on my desk makes me envy the trees that died to produce it. 1. You’re like the first slice of bread; everyone touches you yet nobody wants you. 15. Dec 9, 2016 · Below, Bored Panda has compiled a list of hilariously inappropriate and rude Christmas cards that only people with a twisted sense of humor will understand. funny sarcastic quotes. I like you. You’re a genius. “Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength. The Importance Of Being Earnest, Oscar Wilde. Dec 26, 2022 · Insult Revenge Quotes. 4. “Asking politicians to give up a source of money is like asking Dracula to forsake blood. funny and rude poems, quotes and messages for Valentine’s Day. You’re safe. When you don’t do it, you’re lazy. “If only your personality matched your ego. “ Marriage is give and take. 69. “The road to success is always under construction. Let's start with typewriters. “You can tell what was the best year of your father’s life because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out. I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding. May 20, 2023 · Sarcastic Quotes About Life: “Life is short. “A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. “. We wish you a happy birthday. That is the ugliest top I’ve ever seen, yet it compliments your face perfectly. 9. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway. Here you will find perfect sarcastic quotes for Instagram. I hope you accept my birthday wishes and these lies on your birthday today! I won't lie—I'm only here for the cake. And they're going to be happy because they want to be legalized. 19. May 18, 2023 · 18. Sep 13, 2023 · Sarcastic One Liners – Totally hilarious sarcastic one liners. A few years ago you were young and stupid. 16. If by “people,” you mean cats. ”Sarcasm – the ability to insult idiots without them r Mar 23, 2021 · 1. “It’s okay if you don’t like me. See more ideas about funny quotes, comebacks and insults, sarcastic quotes. "Love is sharing your popcorn. It's really funny Jul 15, 2021 · 1. “Just when I thought they couldn’t get any stupider”. “I’m sorry while you were talking I was trying to figure where the hell you got the idea I cared. Spongebob: “Run Mr. When he did, I asked why he was ignoring me. – Unknown. Dec 3, 2019 - Explore Grow With Rasel | Social Media's board "Sarcasm Insults | Hilarious , Funny ,Thought" on Pinterest. [I]f you are sarcastic that doesn’t mean you are Nasty. #9. I’d rather be in hell than anywhere where you are. "We're rounding 'em up in a very humane way, in a very nice way. Albert Einstein Quotes. ” “If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. – Erma Bombeck. Plans start as low as $2. “Why work on a project for weeks when you can do it in a day and feel accomplished?”. 45. “My middle finger is for my Haters. 14. Well my imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems. You are straightforward that means your intentions are clear the same as a mirror. 68. 50/mo. #4 “I want to grow Nov 16, 2019 - Explore Sage's board "Sarcastic Christmas quotes" on Pinterest. – Cassandra Tackling it with a bit of sarcasm and humor can make it a bit easier. "When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark. Apr 8, 2024 · On one hand, sometimes sarcastic job quotes are simply meant as lighthearted jokes without any disrespect intended. Oh, well. #8. Zombies eat brains. We've included some big, bold, and insulting words your simple-minded adversaries might not recognize. You are like a cloud. Your advice is golden. “Sometimes being old is used as an insult, which is bizarre because, if you’re lucky, that’s literally going to happen to you. Bill Gates Quotes. – Eric Hoffer. I'm not offended by all the dumb jokes about blondes because I know for a fact that I'm not dumb. Most Sarcastic Quotes Ever. One Valentine’s Day I gave her a ring and to this day she has never forgotten those three little words that were engraved inside — Made in Taiwan. My Friend Logic – I insult you because I love you. 11. 5) Pinterest “The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast. Jan 27, 2018 · Insults, Comebacks, Sarcastic, Funny and Witty QuotesYou can visit our website to see more. Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupidity. #7. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. “Always be in swag and burn your haters. . " — Unknown. Friends are an essential part of our lives, but sometimes they can also be a source of frustration. “Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence. We’d like to think he’d also enjoy these funny drinking quotes Apr 5, 2022 · For our premium ad-free experience, including exclusive podcasts, issues and more, subscribe to. “Some days you eat salads and go to the gym. Playfully Sarcastic Insults “I could agree with you, but then our productivity would plummet. Men were deceivers ever, One foot in sea, and one on shore, To one thing constant never. Look at the platypus. It is not insult from another that causes you pain. – Cassandra Clare. “Hating people takes too much energy. My peers forget the early '90s when we. “I always say ‘Morning’ instead of ‘Good Morning,’ because if it was a good morning, I would still be in my bed and not talking to people. “Work: because punching people is frowned upon. 10 Copy quote. " Frank Lloyd Wright. On immigration. Trump on domestic policy. Funny insults are Jul 12, 2023 · 204 Hilarious Sarcastic Jokes to Crack You Up. ” -Sir Winston Churchill. It seems like your face caught fire and somebody attempted to stop it with a hammer. Keep on scrolling to check out the funny puns and feel free to add your Nov 2, 2022 · Christmas quotes like these are ideal for Christmas cards, festive gifts, seasonal crafts or just something to insert into day-to-day festive conversation to insult your nearest and dearest. In a world that can sometimes feel too serious, these quotes offer a much-needed dose of levity and wit. In conclusion, these 20 savage humor and sarcasm quotes have shown us that laughter truly is the best medicine. Also, it’s too short for boring people. Get the best comebacks and insults below: You’re cute. “A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him. You’re a real people person. "I think if this country gets any kinder or gentler, it's literally going to cease to exist. Jan 19, 2024 · I'm a billionaire. ” “Your report was out of this world! Apr 21, 2022 · Funny Father’s Day quotes. Smile while you still have teeth. — Eleanor Feb 14, 2022 · Sarcastic. “Being average is boring. “I’m gracing you with my presence. Oct 28, 2022 · We are all created by the Almighty, and like Him, I love all of humanity. “Zombies eat brains, don’t worry, you’re safe. Nov 14, 2018 · Here are 47 snarky comments you’re dying to say to your fellow workers – but shouldn’t. I love what you’ve done with your hair. If you’ve never met the devil in the road of life, it’s because you’re both heading in the same direction. – Ogden Nash. You look smarter in pictures. "Before you diagnose yourself with depression May 25, 2024 · insulting attitude savage quotes for haters. Ex Girlfriend Quotes And Sayings. The closest you'll come to a brainstorm is a light drizzle. The content below consists of parodies of the sentiments found in the traditional Hallmark greeting. “If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you. Aug 1, 2015 · Bessie: “Winston, you are drunk. Mar 18, 2022 · Short Sarcastic Quotes & Sayings. “If your brains were dynamite there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off. – Curtis Tyrone Jones. Just keep talking, I yawn when I’m interested. I don’t hate you, however I’d give you a handshake if you were sinking. If the problem is finding more problems. " Feb 14, 2021 · Sarcastic, Geeky And Cool Insulting Quotes Here is a list of some sarcastic insulting quotes for geeks that are so bad, they're actually good and cool. Jan 19, 2023 · 66. I actively avoid office politics by hating everybody equally. Without geometry, life is pointless. - Will Rogers. “I love working so much that I don’t even need weekends… said no one ever. The Best Brutal Insults. This is why some people appear bright until they speak. Feb 9, 2022 · Our list of 100+ cutting words insults for bards in D&D 5e will give you all the e-quip-ment you need! Take the performance pressure off yourself next time you need a vicious mockery insult so you can have more fun in your next Dungeons and Dragons session! Read on for randomly rolled insults, specifically themed selections, and even a mix-n Feb 2, 2015 · Top 5 Best Comebacks. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket. “He was a wise man who invented beer. “Those who disrespect you with their mouth don’t deserve your ear. Apparently, it’s not a disorder that is recognized. And, just in case you also need to brush up on that vocabulary, we've provided the dictionary definitions for each. May 30, 2023 · Good roasts to use on your friends and enemies the next time they annoy you. If you’re going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty. If ignorance is bliss. Whatever is eating you must be suffering terribly. All you need is a high five. Honestly, I'm just impressed you could read this. The next time you find yourself in need of some new material, refer to the list below. I just pretend they’re dead. Sarcastic sayings for a birthday do not hide the age and conjure up a smile on the birthday child’s face. We have covered all bases, funny Christmas quotes for family, rude Christmas for adults, short Christmas messages, cute Christmas sayings, even sarcastic Apr 23, 2024 · Video: Insults, Comebacks, Sarcastic, Funny and Witty Quotes. 6) Funny sarcastic quotes that are 100% Jan 2, 2019 · Otherwise, it could easily backfire. Best Sarcastic Jokes. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery. Aug 26, 2021 · Forty-five of history's funniest insults so witty and cutting that they've outlived the person who delivered them! Below is a gallery of responses, retorts, and comebacks that are so witty that they’ve outlived the person who delivered them – enjoy this collection of history’s best insults: Mark Twain: "The trouble ain't there is too many May 21, 2019 · 30 Of The Funniest Disney Insults And Comebacks. Sarcastic Facebook Status Quotes. “For the third time this week, I’m buying booze for the next two weeks”. “Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more. Truth, Pain, Entrepreneur. “It is forbidden to kill; therefore, all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to May 23, 2021 · You can also use these as Valentine’s Day greetings. Guys, you can share your experiences below in impression and comments who’s co-relate to Jan 14, 2020 · Fred Allen. So, without further ado, here is a list of some of the best sarcastic quotes we could find, to help give you an idea of how to use sarcasm to your advantage. It’s like punching people in the face but with words. “Time spent in the wrong story leads to the right one. "Why, you stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking… Nerf herder!"-Princess Leia, 'Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back'. “The best stories often have unexpected endings. Fashionably late is still late. Sep 19, 2021 · Your worst idea ever…I will be there in 5 minutes. ” “Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence. — Jerry Seinfeld. 8. Winston Churchill. “Life is like a box of chocolates – it doesn’t last long for people on a diet. Just level up. It is the part of your mind that agrees with the insult. ”. “Sarcasm - is the secret language that everyone uses when they want to say something mean to your face. Jan 17, 2020 - Explore Igor Cherkas's board "COMEBACKS AND INSULTS", followed by 453 people on Pinterest. May 30, 2022 · 7. I'm not a member of any organised political party. 80 Sarcastic Quotes about Life. – Will Rogers. From famous minds to mysterious origins, find belly laughs in clever quotes. As soon as I saw you, I knew an adventure is going to happen. From "All I Want For Christmas Is Money" to "My Wife Made Me Send This Card. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. – Steven Wright. I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception. 10. “You never realize how truly sarcastic you are until you have a mini-me who acts the same way. " - Leopold Fechner. “Marriage has no guarantees. When it comes to witty comments and sassy remarks, some Disney characters are absolute pros. However, others might think repeatedly mocking your career through sarcasm could potentially undermine your own respect for the work over time, or damage how others perceive your commitment. In our collection of hilarious sarcastic jokes, we 20 quotes from 100+ Insults: Funny Insults, Comedy, and Humor!: ‘You’re so ugly… you don’t need birth control, your face scares everyone. "If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you. Today on your special day, you got older—all the best from me. “I love sarcasm. "I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. This joke will Jan 6, 2024 · 6. Whether you believe he was an immature bully or a romantic hero, there's one thing you can't deny, he had some great quotes! Of course, being played by the late, great Alan Rickman in the films certainly helped - we Dick: an idiot. “I like to give myself a challenge by waiting until the last minute to start a task. Sarcastic Quotes About Stupid People. ” – Anonymous. 4) Pinterest “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. “Don’t study me, you won’t graduate. As You Like It, William Shakespeare. Jul 11, 2019 · 11. ” – Oscar Wilde. “You’re so ugly, when you were born your mom said What a treasure and your dad said Lets go bury it. “We always hold hands. #10. ” “You’re so efficient, I bet you could find a way to procrastinate on a coffee break. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. And I also know I'm not blonde. . Always remember that you’re unique. 7. “As soon as you stop wanting something, you get it. May 29, 2024 · Over the years, Ramsay has shared various insights on parenting and maintaining a healthy work- life balance. See more ideas about sarcastic quotes, quotes, sarcastic. “Growth means outpacing what no longer serves. Robin Williams. No, the third one down. Discover and share Sarcastic Quotes About Ex Girlfriends. When your boss doesn’t do it, he’s too busy. 3) Sarcastic Quotes by Oscar Wilde Twitter / @tim_fargo “I am not young enough to know everything. Be very careful of humans. ” -Unknown. It’s called balance. 67. Old Girlfriend Quotes. “Life is too short to wear boring socks. Sep 13, 2022 · Today, we often use sarcasm not only when somebody or something makes us angry but also when we need to cope with a difficult situation. I'm not a real movie star. ” -Joey Adams. “Do you think God gets stoned? I think so. “Face your problems, don’t Facebook them. Krabs! Run like you’re not in a coma!”. 100 Best Gordon Ramsay Quotes and Insults. Neither one works. I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong. Avoid arguing with fools. “My gran could do better! And she’s Jan 23, 2024 · Here are some classic quotes that combine wisdom with a wink: “Always be yourself, because the people that matter don’t mind, and the ones who do mind, really don’t matter. Bugger off: go away; run along. A brilliant Sarcastic Jokes collection of the most funniest and witty one liners and quotes that will leave you Laughing Out Loud. I can listen, ignore, and forget at the same time. -Steven Wright. Hear Reader’s Cave community share some Sarcastic Quotes, hope you definitely enjoy this. I’m just beyond your understanding. " Playboy, March 1990. “I’m bad and I’m going to hell, and I don’t care. Mar 27, 2023 - Explore Kay's board "Sarcastic Quotes" on Pinterest. Sometimes people just need to hear it. Your face is just fine. Feb 2, 2021 - Explore Marcelo Domingo's board "Insults" on Pinterest. The compliment of “wise” really means a lot coming from Plato. May 20, 2020 · Plato. This section is dedicated to sarcastic quotes about friends that will make you chuckle and nod in agreement. Here are our top 5 best comebacks to insults in an argument. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce. Bored Panda has compiled a list for you of 30 most clever, witty and savage comebacks and insults as told by famous people. See more ideas about comebacks and insults, funny quotes, sarcastic quotes. Feb 10, 2022 · You’re probably dumb. “I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception. “Light travels faster than sound. ” – Ashleigh Brilliant. Epic Sarcastic Quotes “I’m not sarcastic. After being disturbed on the toilet by the Lord Privy Seal, Winston said “Tell him I can only deal with one sh-t at a time!”. If they're taking too much sh*t, they let everyone know about it and never miss the opportunity to come up with the most savage comeback if others throw something their way. [thought bubble for Patrick shows a carton of milk tipping over and spilling] 3. in the face Using a chair. May 14, 2021 · Severus Snape might be one of the most divisive characters in the Harry Potter series. Like my dog. ” “I’m not insulting you. "Romantic love is a mental illness. — Plato. Since I let you into my life, several things have gone missing, like joy, peace and love. Then sigh not so, but let them go, And be you blithe and bonny, Converting all your sounds of woe. People who understand and appreciate sarcasm 2. “Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit but the highest form of intelligence. Undeniably, some of the quotes regarding their Facebook social behavior are true. John Wayne. You’re not pretty enough to be this stupid. Check out these funny, sarcastic quotes about life to take on a more light-hearted approach to the way you live your life. The following sayings can be adopted or serve as inspiration. – Joan Rivers. It always strikes me as funny when I hear Gen Xers bad mouth millennials (which seems to happen on the regular). Jun 15, 2023 · 101 Funny Insults. ’ You are a kind, beautiful, and amazing person. – Cal Thomas. Some days you eat cupcakes and refuse to put on pants. You’re a true problem-solver. Dive in now! Best Sarcastic Quotes. “Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand. ”- Ashleigh Brilliant Nov 3, 2016 · Sarcastic Quotes. Sarcasm has the power to deliver both laughter and thought-provoking insights. Apr 4, 2024 · Not all insults can be borrowed or repeated. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’m guessing it’s hard to pronounce. But Accidents Happen. 86. Winston: “My dear, you are ugly, but tomorrow I shall be sober and you will still be ugly. I'm a Democrat. Happy birthday! I don't feel like wishing you a happy birthday. Merry Christmas" - expect to see it all. “Wake me up when I care. Mar 11, 2024 · Like perfectly timed funny quotes, a sarcastic comment can put someone rude in their place or help you make a self-deprecating joke (think: tripping over your shoelace and saying “Smooth Feb 7, 2024 · Discover 40 sarcastic sayings with a twist of irony. Aug 28, 2023 · Best literary insults. “Life is hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid. bm rn ey hj rj pt ee du pj sl